Day 59

'Misunderstood', Pen and Watercolour on Paper

Saw this in shop the other day and was a little perplexed as I'd always assumed that Dr Pepper was cherry flavoured, so was this a cherry flavoured cherry drink? After considering that for all of a few seconds I did what I would do with most gimmicky and seemingly appetising snack foods that cross your field of vision when traversing the local supermarket, I let curiosity get the better of me and picked it up. I don't know what it is about seeing something you've never seen before in any shop but It automatically causes that little voice at the back of your mind to softly scream 'I want'. The worst thing is that initially you went in for something specific that you really needed, before you know it you half way home with a bag full of mint flavoured caramels, caramel flavoured mints, beef flavoured ham and chocolate flavoured beef. Not only that but you have also completely forgotten to pick up that which you were meant to pick up in the first place, as you were distracted by all the gaudily irresistible sugar filled trash that had been cleverly and strategically placed all around the store. It would seem that we can sometimes misunderstand the potency of or own impulses and just how susceptible we are to the power of suggestion. I believe that it is the aforementioned curiosity that is at the heart of this as we are fascinated by the need to know. We need to know what your doing, where your going, where you've been, how your getting there, how we got here, how we didn't see that coming, how you didn't see that coming, we need to know what it's like, how it was and if you would have it again. Curiosity is one of those things that will constantly get the better of us as we can't bear to feel like were missing out, we like to be in the loop as not being in the loop means that we wouldn't understand... if we don't understand then how can we know?

Day 58

'Guitar' Pen on Paper

For a change there's no real story of meaning behind today's 'draw' other than I needed to draw something and after a subtle suggestion from one of my house-mates this seemed as good a subject matter as any. I think the only thing I really want to discuss at this point is that the last few weeks I've been struggling to re-adjust to the new shift patterns I'm on at work. I've been working a 2-10 shift ever since returning from holiday so it has been difficult to catch up on the backlog of writing that had built up on my time away. The reason being that in the morning I have to prepare and then make my way to work, which now has me travelling a bit further out of the city of Belfast, leaving me very little time to do much of anything else. As well as this the fact that I don't get home until 10.30 after which I normally have to fit in a drawing, make some food and catch up on multiple things, means that there isn't much time for activities there either. So, so far I've been drawing almost as soon as I've entered the door and writing part way through the night in a bid to catch up on myself but with any luck I should catch up on things fairly soon. Furthermore I'm now working every other weekend which all but removes the usual time that I would have spent either taking photographs or making vague plans for the week ahead of time. In short the next few weeks then should be interesting if nothing else as I try to get to grips with my new schedule and attempt to carve out the time to keep up with the project... the important thing is that I adapt quickly, although I do take solace in that so far there have been a few instances where I've had little of no time to put together a drawing and still managed. The main thing will be to take a moment to identify all the new variables, issues and consequences until I'm able to adapt to my new timescale.

Day 57

'Rose Tinted Masses', Pen and Watercolour on Paper

The thinking behind today came from a short lived but ultimately unyielding conversation about conspiracy theories, wherein the only conclusion I could make was that to conspiracy nuts the fantastical tends to greatly outweigh the logical. To these people it would seem that for every major catastrophe or event where people are directly involved that there is a highly intelligent, organised and widespread network of people pulling all the strings. They also believe that even though this network of shadowy figures conspire in relative secrecy for some reason they can't seem to help themselves from leaving clues in plain sight, for any idiot/Dan Brown enthusiast to find and read into in way too much detail. These 'shadowy figures' run the world using a subtle blend of ruthlessness and delicacy, that could be attributed to ruling the world with an iron fist sheathed in a smooth velvet glove. The people who believe in this also somehow have an answer for every possible question, although normally the answer is to merely pose another question that without having an encyclopaedic knowledge of thermodynamics, engineering, woodwork, metallurgy, psychokinesis, time travel and the entire history of everything you can't possibly answer and not because your less intelligent it's more that you don't have the answer, yet... Normal logic states that if you don't now they answer you find it from a reliable source, rather than paraphrasing the ramblings of some guy wearing a tin foil hat, sitting in his parents house in a dressing gown, eating coco pops out of vase with a ladle. Something I read once about conspiracy theorists described them as being, 'like Rambo with bullshit instead of bullets' highlighting the one man war they are waging with every one that's 'in on it' and actually summing things up much more eloquently than I ever could. In truth I'm going off on a little bit of a tangent as this isn't really meant to be a tirade against those people who believe in conspiracy theories or even to suggest that what they believe is wrong...even though it is. Instead it's a general comment on how we tend to have a selectivity to see, hear and deduce what suits our own needs and curiosities at any given time. We effectively allow ourselves to be taken in by our surroundings, to be caught up in and at times overrun by the insanity that exists around us. We do indeed view the world with rose tinted glasses in that we ignore much of what we don't feel is applicable to us. Also even though this is a phrase that is normally reserved for seeing only that which is pleasing to us, it is still very fitting even in instances when we take something negative from a situation. This is as whatever we decipher from the information at hand, negative or positive, it is pleasing to us in that it reaffirmed what we wanted to feel or believe in first place. In short we find meaning in the meaningless and are quite happy to disregard logic as long as it bends the remainder of the information to suit our every whim and desire.

Day 56

'Water all these Colours?', Pen and marker on Paper

They only real reason for drawing this today is that at the end of last month one of the things I wanted to focus on was bringing more colour into the work, however having looked at the last few 'draws' it would seem that hasn't really been the case. The main reason will be that for the week I was put of the country I only took a limited amount of materials with me, colour not a ingredient in any of those, but now that I'm back and have access to all my drawing materials again I want to revisit this notion. I see colour as something that adds a different dimension to the drawings, thus far most of the days I've used colour it was to highlight the vibrancy of aspects of the subject matter. So the use of colour and indeed any different style or technique is dependent on the subject matter chosen, in turn the subject matter chosen is dependent on a number of factors that I've attempted to narrow down:

- Mood - fairly self explanatory

- Memory - Something from the past that I want to revisit or symbolise

- Time-scale - The window in which I have to complete the drawing, or the technique involved being less time consuming   

- Direct reaction to a stimulus - Taking inspiration from an image,thought or interaction from that day.

- Availability -What objects, media or images are at my disposal.

- Environment - The surroundings I'm in can alter the types of drawings I will favour at any given time as I may be offered an experience or an opportunity that I will not have at another time.   

It's possible then to devise that over the course of the project the things that I choose to draw and the way I choose to draw them, can in fact be used as a barometer for the particular factor or factors that brought me to that conclusion for the day. 

Day 55

'Got any Bangers?', Pencil on Paper

Today's draw is by special request from a friend of mine, which came about after a previous drawing I did where the incredibly creepy looking sunglasses are also a feature. The glasses themselves having been discovered in a local pound shop and initially bought to be part of a costume for a band that me and my friend formed for our houses Christmas party that we named the 'Santa Flaws'. Now when I say band I do use that term in the loosest sense of the word, although to be fair two of our members were actually quite musically talented. I learned keyboards in the space of a week, we practised for all of about 30 mins and the drummer didn't know he was drumming until he turned up at the party... so as you can imagine the performance was 'off the hook' as the cool kids say. Strangely enough though even with our lack of practice and my absence of any real musical talent it did go genuinely well, the complete ridiculousness of the situation only doing as much as to make the whole thing hilarious. It was something that was definitely enjoyable so who knows maybe the Santa Flaws my make a triumphant return under a new guise and with a brand new sound.

Day 54

'One of Many Failed Attempts At a Hobby', Pencil on Paper

Something that I think were all guilty of at some point or another is the overwhelming urge to try and integrate something new into our life. This happens because we find we want to keep up with the latest fads and crazes for fear of being left behind, sometimes it occurs because we find we want to further ourselves intellectually and creatively and sometimes it's merely that we feel that if we can do this thing it will make other people view us in a different light. The only problem with this is that many of the skills that we attempt to develop we do so as we believe that they will be seemingly easy, however the reality is rather to the contrary. The fact is that most new things are difficult to grasp and maintain, the result of this for the most part is that once we find something to be more difficult than we first perceived we give up. So if you take a few moments to think back over your life thus far, I'm sure that you'll be able to find more than a few occasions were you have made a promise to yourself to do something a little out of the ordinary only to break it when you found it to be too tough... instead coming up with any number of  obscure reason so as to justify your obvious failure. It is something that constantly plagues my mind whilst taking part in this project and my constant fear is that, like with most of the other hobbies and obsessions I've had before, as my enthusiasm wanes and apathy takes over will it be discarded somewhere to gather dust like many of the things that has come before it?... Will I be foolish enough to let excuses that I conjured from nowhere inhibit me from completing what I set out to do?

Perhaps though I should attempt to think about this form another angle... if I look at the drawings and indeed the text as a cathartic process, one that helps to exorcise that apathy demon that has caused me to disregard many other projects, concepts and ideas I once deemed vital. The project then could be an opportunity to rekindle some of those lost, failed or forgotten ideas and finally get round to starting to do more of things that I've always wanted to do. It would be a fairly small step to ensuring that less things get resigned to the scrap heap, however it's important to consider that many epic journeys started with a few small steps... who knows maybe it can lead to me making a giant leap towards something else.

Day 53

'Filzmoos', Pen on Paper

This will be the last landscape image from the Austria Collection that I wanted to draw, it's from just outside the place we stayed and an area that you would pass through on your way out and on your return each day. The building in the left of the frame was our temporary home for a week and has been for one week each year, for the last three years running. It has become a vague tradition wherein each year we go to the same place, we sample the same local delicacies and we partake in the same events and activities... there is a familiarity to things that is very comforting and the notion of familiarity is something that affects us greatly when in a seemingly strange place. To hark back to something I've mentioned before we are by our very nature creatures of habit, as such we have a tendency to be ritualistic. Wherever we may be we all have our own routines, quirks and customs that we adhere to, to make even unfamiliar surroundings seem that little more like home. The process of repetition generates a security, so by carrying out the same tasks, by seeing recognizable landmarks and by generally being acquainted with the other elements of our environment we get that feeling, the same one that we get when we return to our actual home. As that subtle smirk of realisation that materializes across our face suggests, that feeling is one of relief, a sense of satisfaction and an overwhelming notion that I'm exactly where I need to be.     

Day 52

'The Awkwardness of Most Situations', Pencil on Paper

We've all been in awkward situations for one reason of another, most of which normally stem from bumping into someone that we weren't really expecting to see, nor did we really want to see. There can be many reason for this:

- Perhaps you made an embarrassingly drunken idiot of yourself in front of them last time that you spoke.

- Maybe it's an ex-partner where things ended unexpectedly or on bad terms.

- It could be that it's someone that you hooked up with when you really shouldn't have, you said you would give them a call then didn't for any number of illegitimate reasons.

- It could even be an old friend that you had a falling out with or simply lost contact with.

- Maybe it is someone that you don't really know well enough to have a full length conversation, but you've met them a few times and there a friend of a friend so... you take a stab and conversing to not seem rude.

- It could be that it's someone that you actually know fairly well but for whatever reason you can't quite remember their name.

- In a few isolated instances it can be someone mistaking you for someone else.

- Or perhaps it's just someone that is overly friendly and it leaves you feeling uncomfortable to be in their presence.

When faced with a situation like this we tend to fall on a few tried and tested techniques to help us survive the clearly discernible tension. Firstly after a faint attempt at an enthusiastic greeting we fall straight into the standardised generic conversation that is all to familiar. We begin uttering questions and phrases that refer to the past tense of the relationship, phrases that are normally vague enough that you don't open up old wounds or bring up something that you shouldn't... especially if you're not entirely sure how you know that person. In fact I once had a 20 min conversation with someone in a bar that talked in depth about our old school friends, some of the wacky adventures that we all used to get up too and asked me about a job that I had apparently been doing for the last 5 years... however not one of these things correlated with anything I have ever done in my life... ever! It was just that they were so thrilled to catch up I didn't have the heart to tell them so humoured them until I could make my excuses and move on. So it's definitely important to keep things vague especially if you are attempting to talk about a job in the area of aviation that you've never actually had. Here is a brief list of some of the archetypal things that we say in order to cope with the situation:

- "so... where you working now?"

- "do you see (insert related friend here repeat with all the possible people you can think of that they also know) around much?"

- "what have you been up to any way it's been ages?"

- "do you still (insert generic hobby here that you remember them talking about once)?"

Basically we clutch at linguistic straws do break the numerous prolonged silences in an effort to let enough time pass before we can make our excuses and make our escape. The amount of time that we dedicate to speaking to this person is based on a few factors the length of the relationship that we had, how close we were to them initially, the reasoning behind not seeing them for this length of time and the level of interest we have in rekindling the relationship. 

Time then is something that is also very important here and is also responsible for one other thing you'll find yourself constantly doing when in an awkward situation and that is checking the time, the frequency of this will give you some indication as to just how awkward the situation actually is. I'm not sure if this is an attempt to feign that we are actually in a rush in order for us to make our exit, or if we are simply measuring how painfully long seconds have become as we do our best to not actively gnaw off our own foot like a trapped animal in order to get the hell out of there.

Day 51

'Flachauwinkl' Pen on paper

This is the first drawing I've done since returning back to Belfast and relative normality the only reason for it was that I found I've been enjoying drawing landscapes over the last week and think it will be something that I'll continue to do over the coming months. I can't quite place specific reason as to why I've gravitated towards landscapes and the outdoors recently, perhaps it's just due to the fact that I was surrounded by breathtaking scenery the entire time I was in Austria. So it's difficult to say for sure how long this fascination will last as it is most likely due to the environment that I was in that I choose to do these types of drawings. It's always good when doing these types of drawings to be able to work in situ or for the most part from a secondary source that you had a direct hand in producing, such as a photograph. So it may be that I could think more in terms of cityscapes to fit in with my current surroundings thus allowing to be able to still work in situ and give me a wider variety of possibilities.

Day 50

'Irish Cafe' Pen on Paper

Today it came to that time where I had to leave Austria to return home to normality as I prepared to head home with the group that I travelled out with one thought constantly on my mind. I was leaving to go to Salzburg Airport at 10 in the am and my flight wasn't until 8.55pm, the reason being that I'd booked flights rather late and by flying out later it worked out more cost effective. Although almost everyone else was flying out early, luckily one other person from our group was a late replacement meaning he also had booked the later flight, so together we spent some time attempting to generate activities to help pass the time. On reflection after having spent the best part of 9 hours waiting in an airport, apart from making a fake sign and standing in arrivals, there is only one conclusion that can be drawn... almost everything you do involves queuing. An airport has more queues than a snooker competition, I mean think about all the times that you queue:

- In order to Check-in, which you normally get there early for but somehow end up at the back of the queue anyway?

- In order to get a seat in the waiting room, circle like vultures trying to scavenge any possible scrap of a seat.

- In order to get something to eat.

- In order to get something to drink.

- In order to go to the toilet.

- In order to go through security.

- In order to relax and shop, and then you have to queue to pay, what the hell's relaxing about it?

- In order to go through the boarding gate, although that's normally more of a huddle of people trying to queue in order to join the actual queue.

- In order to get on the plane.

- In order to get a seat on the plane.

- In order to get off the plane.

- In order to get through customs.

- In order to get you bags back.

It's amazing that we can spend hundreds of pounds to stand in what is essentially one long never ending series of queues. Perhaps that would be a venture for the future 'Conga Line Airways', you'd still be as emotionally, mentally and physically drained but at least you'd get some exercise in the process.

Day 49

'Still Life' Pen on Paper

It's getting to the end of my weeks break in Austria and it has me thinking about something that follows on from what I spoke about earlier in the week, that being space, in this case though it's what we do when we leave a space.

Whenever it becomes time to leave a space we go through a similar ritual to when we first entered it, only in reverse order. We slowly recoup the items of clothing, the bits and pieces that were previously scattered across the room marking our territory, we re-visit the areas that we have designated to ourselves and begin to remove any traces of having inhabited that area before finally giving the area a once over to ensure we have all that is important to us. Inevitably though there tend to be a few casualties along the way as we forget some of the seemingly insignificant items in our haste to clear up and get out. The items then left for the next occupants to discover and possibly take ownership of so I suppose you could look at the whole thing as being cyclical. We enter a space, we take ownership of the space, we leave our mark on the space, we leave the space as well as small traces of our existence there, a new person enters the space claims it in their name along with all that was left behind previously and the whole process starts again. There are actually a lot of parallels with what I'm doing within the blog, in a way this is my attempt at inhabiting a specific type of space, my possessions are the drawings and the ideas as I attempt to 'cleverly negotiate' that space by flooding it with those ideas. It is interesting then to consider the repercussions of the project ending when it comes time to essentially leave this place will there be someone else to inhabit it, what is the legacy that I expect to leave behind, will someone else find the traces of the idea and decide to take ownership for themselves possibly continuing the project?

Day 48

'High Port -Flachauwinkl', Pen on Paper

Today's 'draw' is from the seating area at High Port at the base of one of the slopes in Flachauwinkl, which is where we were all waiting on the bus back to our apartment.

Whilst sitting there I was thinking about how the majority of our existence is a process of waiting... we wait for years to pass into months, months to pass into days and days to us pass by without us even realising. It is one of those things that we can either have complete or absolutely no control over, much to our own consternation. Whilst waiting we have the ability of exhibiting patience but it would seem only when there is no other option available, what I mean by this is for example if we are waiting to complete a task and the only option we have is to wait for 3 hours before we can do that... then that's what we do. However if there is any possibility that we could or should be able to complete it sooner then this is when patience is ignored as we allow ourselves to become increasingly worked up. Also for some reason we hate to wait on other people, it is something that we absolutely loathe as we are expectant and as such they should be where they need to be, when they need to be there, on the other hand though we hate it when people don't wait on us. In any instances when we are waiting when we don't feel we have to, even if only for a few minutes, it is enough to incense and enrage us. It is in cases like this that we can end up getting into a full scale argument the irony of which being that it normally wastes even more of our precious time than we had to begin with. However this is sometimes the only way we can see of making sure that this is not something that will repeatedly happen to us in the future. Thinking about it then rather than valuing patience as a virtue, it seems to be more a case of patience being askew as it is only advantageous when we decide that it works in our favour... otherwise we cast it aside in the hope that intimidation can overcome and resolve the issue. I suppose then it all comes down then to the time we have at our disposal as it's one of life's most precious commodities and something that is very easy to lose but something we can ever really gain. 

Day 47

'Flachauwinkl' Pen on Paper

The Subject matter of today's drawing was simply that I was half way up a mountain surrounding by outstanding natural beauty and figured this was as good a thing to draw as any. Today's thoughts then aren't directly as a result of the image but instead in reference to something that was being talked about whilst is was in the midst of drawing.  There was a group of 8 of us sitting at the bottom of one of the slopes having a drink just watching the swarms of people making their way down the mountain some with great bravado, others with mild caution and others hurtling face downwards with a mouthful of snow... much to our amusement. People falling just seems to be one of those things that is consistently funny and gets even funnier when it's someone you actually know.

As soon as you see someone fall there is always that initial few moments where your heart is in your mouth, as you wonder if they are in fact seriously hurt. The feeling though is an extremely fleeting one, as soon as they do an Evil Knievel and give the thumbs up to let you know that they are fine, you then have the go ahead to launch into hysterics. Sometimes If you are the one that falls one of the first things you may do is quickly look around to see if your inability to stay upright was noticed by any one else, in my experience it almost always is... as for whatever reason it always appears to happen at the exact moment that someone catches you in their line of sight, allowing them to give you full blow-by-blow account of your misfortune. It then occurs to me that there are normally two types of people involved in a fall the participant and the spectator, no matter which viewpoint you fall under a fall can be broken down into the following stages:

1. The Instigator - A push, a trip or a slip which if you are the participant you will exaggerate to highlight how your complete loss of coordination, balance and grace was not in any way,shape or form your fault. If your the spectator you may well be directly involved or at fault for the fall if not you will be able to disrepute the participants obvious fakery. 

2. Loss of Balance - For the participant Gravity is now your worst enemy, for the spectator it has become your favourite relative.

3. The Moment of Realisation - For the participant this is the point that you know that there is no way back you are going down and unfortunately it is not to Funky Town... also this results in a hilarious expression of panic sweeping over your face. For the Spectator this is the point when you catch the hilarious look of panic on the persons face that you will then relay to friends and to the participant when retelling the story multiple times later.   

4. The Flail - This is the point for the participant that even though they know that resistance is futile they still wave around wildly trying to regain some element of composure and  minimise the damage. For the spectator this furthers the hilarity of the situation and allows further ways to describe just how incredibly entertaining the whole escapade was.

5. The Impact - For both the participant and the spectator it is at this point that there is a level of uncertainty as to the seriousness of the fall, as such it is not until the final stage has occurred that it will be deemed whether or not it is a laughing matter.

6. The Aftermath - Once the all clear has been given it's at this point that a play-by-play account of the fall and it's many stages will be given by all those involved, to be retold repeatedly, over and over until all time has come to an end.

I can't really choose a specific reason as to why seeing someone fall is funny maybe it is the farcical nature, the drama and the absurdity of the series of events that lead up to the fall, possibly it's the stages involved in the fall itself, maybe it's even the process of sharing in the post fall analysis peicing it all back together... On the other hand perhaps it is just a case that small part of us has a sadistic side that finds humour in other people's agony and embarrassment.

Day 46

'Impersonal space' Pen on Paper

Having shared a room with friends whilst on my break in Austria I noticed something, something I've noticed before but never really thought about in any great detail. When you consider any space that is shared with other people we normally start by immediately designating specific areas for our own possessions in our head after giving the space a quick once over. The next step is to 'cleverly negotiate' for the space that we actually want... and by cleverly negotiate I am of course referring to the process of hurling our effects head long into said area peppering it with all manner of implements, instruments and trinkets... essentially marking our territory much in the same way a dog would piss on a fence to leave behind his musk. Also In these shared spaces there are sometimes native objects that had existed before we even occupied it. We then tend to attempt to take ownership of these as well by sitting in our favourite chair, drinking from our favourite cup and basically labelling things as our favourite 'whatever' and that seems to make it ours. There then exists an underlying and unspoken struggle over the ownership of the space as each person attempts to wrestle that little bit extra for themselves. The main point I'm trying to make here is that we like to own things and space is just another commodity that we can apply this to. It is something that, like any possession, we can become very protective of and in many cases get angered when other people encroach on what is now consider to belong to us.

A further thing you may notice in any shared space is that the inhabitants themselves will normally stay with in the confines of the space they have allocated themselves and these people tend to be fairly neat and organised, the kind of people who think, 'I'll do this now and it's done'. While on the other hand there are those people that subtly invade, envelop and engulf the remainder of the space as they redistribute their effects bit by bit over time. It is not something that you are completely aware of either as it happens, mostly due to the incremental nature of the take over... however as with most things there is that point of realisation where after pausing for a brief moment you realise that you are standing in the middle of kitchen which now resembles someone's laundry basket and has a faint smell of feet as a result of the small mountain of clothes and shoes discarded at the end of a hard day. The people that do this tend to be a little less organised, a lot more untidy and are prone to that feeling that, 'I'll come back and do that later, I just couldn't be arsed now'. Whether you are the person causing the mess or the person picking up after, the one thing that helps you to make the most of any shared space is compromise. If someone gets a little more space here, then obviously they should get a little less space there. It is then just the process of negotiating the best compromise to ensure that each person gets the most from the situation... failing that you can just burn everyone else's stuff and replace it with yours.

Day 45

'Filzmoos Nursery Slope', Pen on Paper

Decided that during this week I would make the most of my surroundings and attempt to fit in a few drawings relating to the local landscape and scenery in Austria. What this meant was that each day I went snowboarding I took a sketchbook in my pocket so that should inspiration strike me whenever I took a short rest I was prepared. It's amazing sometimes just how instantly refreshing taking a few moments to yourself to relax can be, especially after spending quite a long time exerting yourself or just generally being involved in something strenuous and exhausting. If you take the instance in which I did the above drawing there was this strange juxtaposition between myself coming to a standstill whilst all around me the locals and holiday makers alike went about their daily routines, their minds pulsating with a million thoughts, worries, plans and uncertainties. Although there is all this activity happening around me and indeed any of us at any given time, just by simply taking a few moments, a few deep breaths we can find a peculiar tranquillity. Even in the subtle chaos that surrounds us it can seem eerily silent as we have seemingly developed a way in which to drown out the background noise just by making use of the audibility of our own thoughts. Personally I find comfort in being surrounded by activity and background noise, to me being in complete silence can be more distracting as it's all too easy to get lost in your own thoughts.  

Day 44

'The Inner Workings of a Day Dreamer', Pencil and Pen on Paper

The above drawing came about after someone having looked through a sketchbook I'd been using for rough notes, scribbles, sketches and ideas passed comment on how seemingly disjointed and bizarrely my mind works. Actually thinking about it the thought behind today's 'draw' is not too far removed from something I mentioned yesterday, with regards to the notion that it is sometimes strange what logically connects one sentence to another.  If you consider that a conversation much like a story has a beginning, a middle and an end and by knowing these we can understand the logical progression of that conversation. However if we take only the starting and end points of a conversation, completely ignoring the middle, you can end up having two significantly different themes and it becomes difficult to see how you actually got to that point. This is much the same as any ideas that we have as we know where the thought begins, the narrative of the idea and also where it ends, as such we have a full comprehension of what that thought process was. However if it was viewed by a second party without the narrative then it becomes a series of incoherent ramblings, much like when the person viewed my notebook. As they are my notes I can easily follow my train of thought even if many of the stopping off points seem a little out of the way. This notion is actually quite apt when thinking about this weeks drawings and how they existed on the blog without text until I was able to go back and update the posts at a later time. As although most of what I've been drawing is fairly straight forward and self-explanatory, there are those few occasions where things get a little left of field and it is in these instances that the text becomes almost as, if not more important the drawing itself... if only to give it some context.

Something else I wanted to mention is how at any given time there are an almost incomprehensible number of thoughts buzzing around our head and it would seem that the slightest stimuli, whether it be a word, an image, a sound or even a taste or smell can cause our mind to wander in a completely different direction. The way any of our minds work is utterly fascinating especially in that even if we were given the same set of stimuli how we come to a conclusion can be completely different each time... not only this but thinking in terms of a number of different people there are limitless possibilities as to any decided outcome. To put this another way if you gave 100 people a piece of paper, a pen and then asked them to draw a flower for instance, although what is drawn may be for the most part similar there will be subtle differences, there will be complete contrasts and there will be those that take it in a completely new direction.

Day 43

'The Lunacy of some Idiotic Ideas', Pen on Paper

Depending on when you viewed the drawings for the next week (No's 43-50), being that I was on holiday in Austria for all of this week, You may have noticed that there was no text for that week and what you are now reading are retrospective posts based on the fact that I had little or no internet access whilst away. As usual I did my drawing a day but due to limitations with internet access only the drawings were posted. In fact the only internet access I had was through a friend of mine's smartphone so he photographed and then posted the drawings via email when ever possible. So while tidying up and adding the writing for the posts I decided to repost the drawings for the week as well so that they are the same quality as the other posts. Again depending on when you viewed the drawings either before or after the text was added the above drawing out of context may have seemed a little off centre, a little strange... possibly even a little bit much, so I think it's important to give it some context.

The drawing grew out of one of those types of conversations that normally happens when you're in a group of friends, those conversations when a particularly amusing aspect of story, a quip or throw away comment is latched on to by the rest of the group as each person takes it that little bit further attempting to in effect one up the person before them with a more ludicrous, outlandish or just plain ridiculous statement in a bid to keep the joke running. With regards to the above drawing it stems from a recent conversation and is in reference to a joke a comedian I saw once told about why women go to toilets in pairs, that being for one to hold the others hands in order to avoid sitting on an unclean toilet, actually at the time he used me as a prop to illustrate the punchline for the aforementioned joke. It may be a case when reading this that it's one of those 'you had to be there moments' but it did fit with the context of the initial conversation. Actually... it's strange sometimes what logically connects from one sentence to another, as having read back the few sentences I have just written it seems like an unusual conversation to be having by any standards. In saying this though the outcome of the conversation led to the formation of the above idea, which in turn is a spoof and a goof on the lunacy of some ideas, in many cases ones that actually come to fruition. They are those products or ideas for products that are clearly idiotic, so much so that the amount by which they are unnecessary is insurmountable. The types of things that take a seemingly easy task and in trying to simplify it, instead somehow make it more of a chore. I suppose what could be the cause of this is an underlying feeling that a lot of people get whereby they want to be independent, they want to be their own boss, make a quick fortune and then retire to somewhere tropical and sip cocktails on the beach. The unfortunate thing is not all of us are meant for that type of greatness, were not all meant to be inventors or entrepreneurs, mostly as most of us don't have a clue where to start and what seems like a good idea at the time in retrospect is actually the most obtuse thought ever conceived. If we are then to take an idea, a plan or a thought through to completion it's important to then consider what actually constitutes a good idea in the first place. To me what constitutes a good idea for any product is that it is something so obvious that it is difficult to understand why it doesn't already exist... failing that it's having the ability to do it better than it has been done before.  

Day 42

'Holiday' Pencil on Paper

Keeping things simple this evening, basically I'm heading off on holiday tomorrow to Austria for a spot of snowboarding. So I want to reassure everyone that I will be continuing with my project whilst I'm away and also I should have some limited internet access whilst I'm away meaning I can still post the drawings. The quality of the posts may not be fantastic as it seems I'll need to take photo's of the drawings and upload them that way rather than scanning them as I have been, in saying this though my intentions are to repost the drawings at a later time if the quality isn't to the standard that it has been once I get back. Also depending on the internet access that I have available to me I may be able to update the text whilst I'm away otherwise I will simply write it and update it as soon as I get back... either way I must dash as have a spot of last minute packing to do... until next time stay classy!

Day 41

'Ring any Bells?', Pen on Paper

The last of the 'Ulster Museum' series of studies a selection of bronze bells, the small one of Japanese origin and the larger of the two of Chinese origin.

It's been a hectic week thus far, I've  been able to fit in the drawings with ease but had a lot of trouble catching up on the text... and yes I am aware that the project is called the '365 Draws of the Year' but I am finding that the text has been becoming more and more important as the whole things move along. So it seems more and more necessary to ensure that I shoe horn some thoughts into a few short paragraphs to help rationalise my drawing for the day. Up to this point the content of the text has been dependent on what I have drawn rather than the other way around, this means that most of the thoughts about why I've actually chosen to draw something are retroactive, so is it then that the text is an end to a means, as opposed to a means to an end? Rather than being something that I do in order to achieve something else, it is something that helps me to think about what it is exactly I have just achieved. Is it then conceivable then that over the course of the project that the writing involved will end up taking more presidence over the drawing, eventually getting to a point where I will begin to shoe horn drawings into whatever context I've laid out in my meandering scribings.. I suppose it's a case, for the moment any way, of seeing how things evolve but this maybe something I refer back to should I find this beginning to happen.   

Day 40

'Giant Deer', Pen on Paper

Today's 'draw' is of the skeletal head of a Giant Deer again part of one of the exhibits from the 'Ulster Museum', I seem to have mentioned that quite a lot in the past few weeks but I've almost exhausted the selection of images taken from my trip there, the last one actually planned for tomorrow. The reasoning behind today's draw basically stems from me wanting to improve upon my illustrative drawing, the use of pen and cross-hatching. 

I know that my drawing has a certain style of it's own but sometimes when I look at other people's work I can't help but get that feeling that, well... what there doing is more impressive. It's an underlying jealousy or sense of inadequacy that we have all felt at some time or another, especially when the thing that we find ourselves having a particular proficiency for becomes overshadowed by someone who is much more proficient, more prolific and probably just generally has the propensity to be better than you as a person in every... single... way. It's one of those awkward situations where you both admire and hate someone in unequal measure, possibly even thinking them to be a bit of an ass or a nemesis even. The truth is though, although you find these people intimidating, unless they really are just a horrible jackass, they normally feel the same as you and loathing can eventually turn into respect... well at least that's what I've come to learn from every TV drama, sitcom or poor comedy film that involves two people trying to one up each other with hilarious consequences that has ever been made in the history of all that is. No matter who you are we have all coveted our neighbours 'ass' for one reason or another, we have all thought at some point 'I wish I could be as good as them at (insert generic activity here)'  and it's by no means a bad thing. In fact sometimes it's exactly what we need to cause us to actively want to get better at doing something, by thinking more along the lines of, 'if they can do it then so can I', then we can, a little positive reinforcement can go a long way. 

Day 39

'Takabuti' Pastel Pencil on brown Paper.

This was again me departing from the normal parameters of the sketch book I normally draw in, mostly as a further method of thinking about other ways to experiment with drawing techniques especially if I do decide to focus on mostly analytical work. By using different types, colours and quality of paper it can have a significant effect on the marks made by different drawing materials, by either softening, distorting or even enhancing the tones of the lines used. Furthermore one of the things I have considered briefly was possibly collage the works by month at the end of the project into 12 framed works, I see then using other types of paper as a further way to alter the aesthetic of each framed work and give it a little extra uniqueness. The image itself is a quick sketch of the mummy 'Takabuti' from the Ulster Museum, much of the colours in the initial image I took where quite earthy tones of brown so it just seemed to make sense to marry that image with the use of brown paper much like as in the earlier post of the Neanderthal skull. For those of you who reading this that haven't really done much drawing or are maybe not sure of what I mean by how paper can affect the quality of lines achieved, I do have the intention to do a few experiments with simply making marks on various grades of paper and with various drawing materials. this should highlight what I've briefly mentioned and also help me to decide which techniques to use in the future depending on the image I am working from at the time.     

Day 38

'I've Developed a bit of a Clutter', Pen and Marker on Paper

Still catching up on myself with the text... so again it's going to be at least another evening before I'm fully caught up as got some things on tonight... watch this space as tomorrow it will be filled with letters, forming words, forming opinions which hopefully form something legible...

Finally getting back to updating the text it's been a hectic week things have been up in the air, all over the show and I've been up to me eyes all week to blame but a few generalities for not having done this sooner. It's actually quite apt to be thinking about disorganisation as this is actually the reasoning for 'draw' 38, more specifically my tendency to allow clutter to build up where ever I happen to be spending most of my time. It strange though as I'm not a really fan of other peoples mess but I'm perfectly happy wallowing in my own filth, maybe it's because I'm lazy, maybe it's because I'm generally apathetic... or maybe it's because I feel comfortable that I know where my filths been. It's something I normally become increasingly more aware of over time but it's never until it reaches critical mass that I would even consider re-organising my possessions. I say re-organise as that's essentially all tidying is, it's much like the 'conservation of mass' in that the the volume of crap that you've accumulated isn't created or destroyed it's merely rearranged in space. Another thing I've found is that the chaotic clutter doesn't inhibit me from being able to find things on the contrary I seem to function better in it, being able to instantly recognise where things will be as I know that:

- Pens are located in drawers, on the desk, next to the sink, on the window sill, on the floor, under the sofa next to the door, hanging from the fridge, in pockets, in books, in nooks and crannies and pretty much where ever you look.
- Half empty Notebooks cover every square inch of desk space that is not taken up by empty bottles, cups, plates, cans and more pens.
- Wallet and keys are inside shoes.
- Hygiene products are every where but the kitchen sink.
- Clean clothes are on the floor.
- Dirty clothes are next to the clean clothes on the floor.
- The floor is nowhere to be seen.

The chaos then seems to be my very own filling system that only I can understand and navigate but it works so that's the main reason it doesn't bother me. Furthermore a thought that has always stayed with me ever since I first heard it...

"If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign" 

Albert Einstein 

If it's good enough for Einstein it's good enough for me.

Day 37

'Thinking Differently' Pen on Paper

I have been thinking a lot about the drawings that I've been making thus far, more particularly whether or not I am approaching the drawing process in a restrictive way. What I mean by this is that so far the drawings have tended to be of a fairly analytical nature on the most part with some illustration providing a few breaks and some much needed comic relief. So far there have been no major diversions from basic drawing styles, no real experimentation or attempt to do something a little off centre... in many ways I've been playing things safe. Have I been doing this then as I'm worried about how some people will view the work, could it be that if the drawing doesn't take up a considerable amount of time that it may not have the some value, could it even be that the thought of doing something more experimental could be seen as taking the easy option making the work less viable? If you think about it though, Drawing is essentially the process of making a mark or series of marks that map out an image or an idea. In it's definition then is there the possibility of reading between the lines to tease out new ways of thinking about drawing over the course of the project?

The drawing then is one of a series of sketches about me thinking of the other possibilities of how I can take a more experimental approach and explore and question what it is exactly that constitutes a drawing. Some of the ideas a ones that I have explored in the past but have never really taken as far as I think they could go. They stem from my drawing at the moment being something that is normally very controlled, purposeful and deliberate as such it tends to be more representative than expressive. The Sketches then in the post think about the notion of eliminating this element of control to create a more organic drawing whereby I have less control over the outcome, by either restricting the range of movement possible or using unorthodox methods of making marks.  If I do decide to take these ideas further there are quite a lot of things to consider that may impact on the outcomes and below are a few of the things that I will need to consider:

- The relationship between myself, the drawing apparatus and the drawing surface.
- Using less conventional movements to create and make marks e.g. twisting, rotating, etc.
- Using drawing as an indicator or measure of a motion from one point to another a way of mapping and recording that motion in various forms.
- The importance of the drawing medium in relation to the image being created.
- If thinking about drawing then as an active process of leaving a trace or making a mark could other activities then be classed as a means to do this, such as walking between points or simply positioning objects in a space.

The implications then for me at this moment in time are firstly how would this type of drawing fit with the project so far and if it is a logical step, is it then too early to do this or should I exhaust the other possibilities before moving on. Secondly and this seems to be where most of my concerns have come from previously, how will it be viewed by the current and the future audience. Would creating these types of drawing be considered as canon by everyone or is it drawing that is too far removed to be considered as viable.

Day 36

'Conor' Pencil on Paper

Portraiture is something that I aim to make more prevalent over the coming weeks and months mostly as I see it as a way to highlight something that has had a great affect on me personally and also the actual work that I'm making... that being the people around me. There is something I've often consider when looking at the art work of other people or even the general creative things that people do, that being that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they express themselves creatively. A lot of the traits that make a person who they are can be seen in the style, tone, aesthetic and execution, on the back of this it is also important to consider that a lot of what makes a person the way they are is in response to a series of almost immeasurable moments, encounters, opportunities and stimuli that we come in contact with each day. I see then the people in my life all the close family, life long friends, casual acquaintances or those that are now only vague memories that interrupt my train of thought from time to time as a major influence in the work that I'm doing... or possibly haven't even begun to plan to do yet as that influence hasn't taken hold yet? don't want to dwell on that too long as I think the notion of time paradoxes may be a bit much for now.

If you think in the context of yourself and if ever you plan to do something that you see as important, something that you really want to accomplish or even something you have just done the first thing you do is tell someone. As you need reassurance that it was the right choice, you look for that pat on the back the acknowledgement that you have done a good job or in some cases that little bit of criticism you need to ensure that next time you do it better. We rely on the people around us to keep us give us that little bit of extra support especially when something backfires leaving us with that feeling that our get up and go, has just got up and gone. It is the people around me that make me want to ensure that I do carry through with this project, each time I bump into someone and they tell me they've been following the blog it gives that extra little bit of motivation I need to maintain focus. as a result I want to integrate these people into the blog as my way of showing that they are a major contributing factor to it's successes.
     

Day 35

'Reassuringly Pensive', Pen and Watercolour on Paper

The reason for today's 'draw' is probably fairly obvious... it's the weekend a time to partake in the odd caper, a little shenanigans topped off with a smidgen of buffoonery. It is a time to help us leave behind our weekly woes and to either recover from the stresses and exhaustion caused by the week we have just endured, or exacerbate the exhaustion by continuing to burn the candle at both ends, pausing only to gnaw at it's waxy mid riff and attempt to set that alight as well. Either way I want to keep things short for now and maybe add a little more to this tomorrow as I attempt to recover from over exerting myself on this fine evening, all that's left for me to say now is... have a good one and make the most of you weekend as it's the only real time we have for the aforementioned shenanigans.

Day 34

'Elephant in the Room'. Pen and Watercolour on Paper

Something I said I was hoping to do more of was to incorporate colour and also introduce an element of painting  as it gives me a further avenue of experimentation. This is exactly what I've decided to do with today's 'draw' a study of the skeletal remains of an elephants foot, something that I came across whilst in the Ulster Museum a few weeks back.

When I saw this it automatically brought to mind that old adage about there being 'an elephant in the room' and in this case almost quite literally. As I'm sure you're aware the idiom it self relates to there being an issue that is particularly obvious to all those present, yet no one wants to discuss it, mostly as it may be deemed inappropriate or cause discomfort. It's like having an actually elephant in a room, impossible to overlook... but for those that concern themselves with trivialities and irrelevance, for those too afraid to face the issue head on it's quite easy to ignore. It is one of those things that we have all experienced at some point whether directly of indirectly, we know that the issue exists but to refer to another well known idiom we bury our head in the sand rather than deal with it. It can be something that affects us personally and singularly, or it can be something that affects the dynamic of a group of people... in any case though what is it then that causes us to ignore the glaring obvious circumstances before us. I think for the most part it's our preoccupation of what other people will think of us that inhibits us from actually bringing the issue to light in the first place. This is also further exacerbated by that feeling that we are all guilty of falling foul to, that being that it will sort itself out or I'll deal with it later. If we are completely honest though this is rarely the case instead it just gets to a stage where the issue reaches its tipping point, it is then that it either transitions into some sort of resolution or it implodes... collapsing around the gravity of the situation that was created. Some of us are lucky enough to be able to acknowledge these 'elephants in the room' early enough that they can be dealt with fairly swiftly, on the other hand though there are definitely those of us that tend to end up with more 'elephants' than they have actual room. These types of circumstances are going to be unavoidable, there are always going to be times when there is an obvious problem that we just don't feel we can deal with in that instance. However this is by no means a bad thing it is how we deal with these circumstances either when we are first confronted with them or at a later time that helps us to grow and develop. We are all going to make mistakes, a faux pas or two and it is with this in mind I think it's important to consider the following... you don't learn from getting things right, instead you learn from making a complete and utter balls of things, picking yourself up and trying again.

Day 33

'Robin Hoodie', Pen, Pencil and Marker on Paper

This is something that came from some of the rough sketches and brainstorming of the last few days, the whole 'literally visual design' idea that I mentioned. It's basically a hoodie design concept that again uses my fondness for wordplay as the inspiration, there's something about this use of wordplay that gives any of the proposed designs a kitschness or novelty factor. If we look around us in most stores and outlets this is something that has become increasingly more fashionable, it would seem that the novelty aspect of an object highlights its daftness whilst also creating the conditions as to why we love it in the first place... I guess in many ways its that old cliché of something being 'so bad its good'.

Bonus Sketches

Here are some Bonus Sketches and rough drafts of ideas that should go some way as to indicating some of the thought process behind the work thus far. The reason being due to something I alluded to in an earlier post about how the process is just as important as the outcome, it's sometimes more interesting to see where an idea began and how it got there rather than just seeing the completed article on its own. Again I also see this as an important part of documenting the work as well, by doing this I create a more permanent record of  the process and the concepts behind the work as normally sketchbooks become damaged, loose scraps of paper are misplaced and things can easily be forgotten... this then should go some way as to ensuring that those initial ideas and thoughts are preserved along with any ideas that weren't used in favour of pursuing something different at the time.

Day 32

'The Pink Panther, The Pink Panther Strikes Again, Curse of The Pink Panther', Pen and Coloured Pencil on Paper.

Carrying on yesterday's theme of thinking of using a play on words to create a literal, visual representation of that which it depicts. If I was to expand the idea even further I also find that's possibly the umbrella term I would use to encompass the designs 'Literally Visual Designs'... The above idea came just from a few sketches and doodles I made whilst sitting at work and as you will see I plan to incorporated some of these rough drafts and sketches in the blog soon to give an overview of the thought process that's led me to come up with those ideas. As I mentioned before I'm a big fan of film in general, what the above image references then is the whole notion of films spawning 'sequels' and how that it sometimes leads to 'sequelitis' wherein as the franchise progresses it becomes much more contrived with every entry. The 'Pink Panther' films were some of my favourite comedies as a child and to some effect still are today, however looking back you can see clearly were studios tried everything possible to milk ever last drop of possible revenue from the franchise and by the end the films paled in comparison to their earlier counterparts. It was only after reading up quickly on the films today I realised that there are actually 9 Pink Panther films... well 11 if you must count the 2 remakes featuring Steve Martin, which I refuse to fully acknowledge.  It seems that this is the main reason a film gets made, is to make money, which is something I can completely understand but it often leads to a slew of lower calibre sequels that are essential a repetition of the first film but a little louder, a little cruder and a little less likeable. Cinema today is rife with reboots, remakes, sequels and updates as studios latch unto whatever is 'trending' at the time... and time is something that they apparently don't see as a factor as they rapidly crap out movie after movie of mostly vapid, inconsequential tat. There are obviously some exceptions to the rule but even then it's always a case of teetering on the verge of being one film too far. 

This notion of repetition is something that I myself am constantly weary of when making work, it's easy to get comfortable with one particular style or theme as that seems to be popular or worthwhile. The risk is then that by sticking with this you then create the circumstances where your unable to let ideas evolve or grow naturally in the way that they should, as instead you keep yourself contained with in that comfort zone you've conceived. You  end up making fundamentally the same work again and again only a little gaudier, a little clumsier and a little less meaningful. It is important then to constantly push yourself beyond this comfort zone if you wish to continue to flourish and avoid becoming more and more contrived with every completed piece of work. If you then find that the place you originally where in was the better option these ideas can always be re-visited. With this in mind I look forward to what they new month holds and see this as a good time to begin experimenting with some more ideas and thrusting things in a new direction from time to time.